A New Investment Vehicle for the Average Man

The stock market is doing pretty well these days and with that comes a lot of talk about bubbles. To that mix of bull/bear talk there’s a third angle, best represented by what you’ll find after a couple minutes over at zerohedge, which encapsulates the whole sort of Tea Party-disenchanted-whatever social phenomenon that’s come up recently.

A big part of that is the long standing confusion about what the hell role gold plays in the economy. People love gold and therefore we have plenty of ways to invest in it, which is great because gold as opposed to cash is intrinsically valuable.

But no, it isn’t. There’s really nothing you can do with gold except for wear it or to trade it to someone else who thinks they have a good use for it. For this reason I’ve moved all of my retirement accounts into the new HNA fund. The fund invests its money exclusively in hammers, nails, and axes, which are stored in my garage. Over time the fund will diversify into holding seed packets and small quantities of lumber (and a circular saw because I got really lucky this Christmas). Moderate (my neighbors are kind of stingy) amounts of leverage are applied through borrowing of several other power tools and Home Depot rental agreements(pretty low financing costs to gear this portfolio up a bit actually).

The benefits are clear. Assets don’t get any more intrinsically valuable than something that you can use to bash in the head of the neighbor you’re feuding with.  Inflation proof, low cost of carry, and very useful for menacing anyone that might show up on your doorstep to repossess your house.

Please contact Diedrich Knickerbocker at 1 Main St. Leith, ND for a prospectus and instructions as to the sending of cash investment.

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